October 26, 2012

Squamlove By the Sea Part II

Click to Read Part I

"Tara" My house by the sea
Funny thing, when you’re really nervous about an encounter, crazy things can happen!! I feel like God was saying, "Gerri, seriously? Let's go ahead and get this out of the way!" So, upon entering the ENORMOUS house (thanks Michelle), through the bottom floor, who was sitting there on the couch working on her computer? Yep, you guessed it, Susannah. Yeah...totally crazyballs!! I took a quick deep breath and refrained from squealing and uttered, "Hi." As I was gaining my composure, she got up from the couch and gave me the most loving and warm hug. She looked me square in the eye, grabbed my face in her hands and said, "You're gorgeous..."


Yep, I should have known then that I was a goner. These type of loving, worthy-affirming experiences just kept happening again and again and again...That was the nature of Squam. Like, when Susannah helped me with my luggage and took me to my room. This was no ordinary room, this was a room for a queen. I was blown away, I even tried to give her the room. She smiled but assured me that this room was.for.me.


Or, when we were all gifted necklaces from the generous Tracey; I got "Dream Weaver"...
Or, when Elizabeth moved me to tears on the balcony of the main house with her loving, hugging assurance.
Or, when Jacki wouldn't let me have a meal without her warm smile and caring assistance; and when she made Kat her own "special" cake...
Or, when Bettie told me, "Everything is just fine."
Or, when Lauren said in the most loving tone, "YOU earned this, YOU deserve this."


Or, when Bella and I forever-bonded on the beach.
Or, when Amy Gretchen told me that "I" made her day.
Or, when I was humbled by people who introduced themselves to me because they knew me from the interwebs...
Or, when Melissa consistently rubbed my shoulder when I was terrified of the bumpiness on our wild horses tour...




Shot from the roof of our jeep by Melissa


Or, when Gary, our tour-host, gave me the biggest smile because he was so happy to serve.


Or, when tears welled up in our eyes as we experienced our candlelight time together, singing and saying goodbyes...
Yeah, there's even more. I could go on for days...


I had tender, private moments with my housemates, with my classmates, with new friends and with my teachers.


The sea was a healing place...it was a giving place. What I brought home with me was more then photographs, it was love. It was a newfound love for myself.

My Polaroids and Me shot by Susannah

I found "Gerri" at the sea. I found my beautiful, sparkly-flowing self; filled with purples and fire. I came to realize that I am worthy of a paradise retreat, just for me. I am worthy of a room for a queen. I am worthy of deep friendships. I am worthy. I am worthy. I am worthy…



and so are YOU beautiful one...


30 comments:

  1. such a full experience.
    worthiness, beauty, acceptance.
    xo

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    1. Yeah, it was all that and a bag of chips…
      xxO

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  2. Gerri, wow! What an absolutely incredible experience for you. The tears started streaming down my face at "I found my beautiful, sparkly-flowing self; filled with purples and fire" ... I love it.

    Worthy ... that you are ... and inspiring!

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    1. Kat, thanks so much. I tear up every time I read it. I think it solidifies within me each time I reflect...
      Bless you! xxO

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  3. I could cry. For real. I love how beautiful your experience was - and blessed to have been a part of it with you.
    You are worthy, girl. Yes you are. xoxoxox

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    1. Thanks for your love beautiful Bella!! xxO

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  4. All I can say is GOD IS GOOD!

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  5. What a wonderful experience you had. I grew up going to the Outer Banks so seeing your photos has been like a little glimpse of home. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Oh, that's so wonderful. Thank you!

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  6. Beautiful post, Gerri. So glad I got to introduce myself, after seeing you on the interwebs. ;) And how sweet is your first encounter with Susannah!

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    1. Yes, it was truly a wonderful experience!! Hugs. ;)

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  7. ohhhhhhh, this makes me SO flipping happy. girl you ARE a queen-- cannot believe you didn't know it but so glad you do now! xoxoxo, e

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  8. This made my cry..so happy for you, Gerri! You are worthy! xo

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  9. And love, love the images of the wild horses..

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  10. Awesome, Gerri, absolutely awesome!

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  11. I love this post! You made me feel less nervous about someday fitting in at Squam!!

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  12. Love, love, love your Squam stories beauty! Your perfect open hearted words and photos share with all of us the magical experience of going out in the world in ways you don't always know you can. XOXO M

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    1. Thanks Michel! I'm still taking it all in and processing the gift of that time. :) I will continue to share. xxO

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  13. oh girl! i am so happy for you! sounds delish and healing and lovely and all so many other things. i want to make it one day. maybe one day that will be with you too :) enjoy all the lovely giddy moments of the after glow. no i need to go back and read your first post :) xoxo

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    1. Oh, I would LOVE to retreat with you!

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  14. Woah. Amazing words. I really, really love this post. xo

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    1. Thanks for being a part of the inspiration my friend...

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  15. Sigh. Yes you are worthy. What a beautiful retreat. You inspire me to want to do the same for myself someday.

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